Fear based decisions devalue our capacity to become the hero of our own story. Security and that overwhelming sense of control traps us into the narrative that I can only feel heroic if I have no fears ( F#@$ -Everything -and -Run), insecurities, and the illusion of control and perfection. Let’s be honest, fear and insecurity can lead us to feeling pretty uncomfortable and a lot of discomfort, uncertainty, and powerlessness. So the next time you are feeling fearful remember that fear is a necessary ingredient for courage. You can’t have any courage without any fear. The next time the paralysing grip of fear has you feeling utterly powerless; instead of playing hide and seek with your fear, get intimate with your fears.
1) ADMIT that you are Fearful. The honesty to admit that we are fearful is one of the first steps that will release the paralysing grip of fear. Do you really think you can out run your shadows and fears? Only once we get honest with ourselves do we realise that all along we have been running from ourselves. The one constant variable in all my equations ….. MYSELF.
2) ALLOW yourself to feel all the fear. Sit with it and don’t play hide and seek with it and try to squirm away. Don’t keep abandoning yourself by reaching for your common distractions and numbing out fear. Allowing yourself to completely feel the fear is one of the greatest acts of self love and nurturing. Trust me you do have the capacity to nurture and love yourself.
3) ACT -How would you act if you were fearless. Fearless is not the absence of fears, but we have so much more courage and love to get intimate with our fears, from a moment to moment basis. How would you act if you granted yourself the permission to grow from mistakes and “failures”.
A lot of us get wrapped up in this notion that we need a massive intensity of perfect effort and fail to realise that the real magic is in the consistent constancy. It’s a process of a thousand small steps, not one massive leap to the top of the mountain. There is no extraordinary cosmic snap of the fingers, but rather extraordinary results from the consistent ordinary small steps.
Many thanks to Darren Scherbain at Old Dawg Coaching for contributing this months Amity Wellness blog post